Dear nothing within ... it has been so long we had a talk, i don't know where to start... First thing first, my apology for not writing you for so long. Indeed you have all the rights to kick my butt. See my guts ,How can i dare to keep you waited for a post for such a long time? But my dear friend so many good things are happening here that i hardly get time to make a note about how lazy i am becoming day by day. Yeah yeah i know i know now you will start with what a sleepy lazy bum i used to be in college time and how i hated the mornings like anything. Surprisingly mornings are not so bad any more. Now that i have this cute little chubby piece of mine sleeping next to me as i open my eyes in the morning. somehow its just so refreshing!
I know you would say if i get up early and don't even work now a days what the hell i do the whole day. It's not as simple as you believe it is, miss nothin within. at least not when you have the cutest baby in the world. Who just smiles and look into your eyes.. like you mean the world to him. You wont understand how hard it is not to look at his divine face while he is napping. Overwhelmed is the word. But there is nothing wrong going crazy about how adorable is my little master.and even if is i am an exception :P. Sorry i can't finish a blog without a smiley you know me ;).
But sometimes i really miss how close we used to be at one time. I had had shared almost every secret,joy and concern with you at a time and you were always there for me. In-fact you did more than what i expect from you. You gave me the confidence that i could be loved through my writing.I might have been just a mundane poet and a sloppy writer but you always encouraged me to be what i wanted to be. So much happened so fast that i never got a chance to look back and thank for everything what nothin within has given me in all these time. so many good friends,believers and of course people who have shown faith in me and what i do.
But before i could see that we are ripping apart it hit me. Yes yes the same thing i was most afraid of. One fine day in this big world i suddenly found the one person who became everything to me. Afraid to confess that i finally got him, i'd just shut my eyes to my sweetest dream, i convinced myself that it is just an illusion. But how long one can resist what one desperately wants, lastly i opened my eyes to see that the dream was all real and it was all mine. I did give you a hint about this. didn't i? well you know me it had never been easy for me to tell things straight away. after all i am a writer i know how to weave things ;). but there was one more reason for hiding it from you, i was afraid that things will never going to be the same between us anymore. My friend it happens when you meet the one who can solve all your problems, who never get bored listening to your non sense, a great critic, a believer and who trust you for his life and most importantly who gives you all the freedom in life. And when you get that you will not go anywhere, because you know you can go anywhere you want. It sounds so weirdly insane but this is what it really is. My whole life i fought for my rights, my space, my beliefs, my reputation, my identity but the more i fought for it the more i became the person what others thought i cant be not the one i wanted to be. With him i found so much freedom that i understood i wasn't running behind freedom all my life i was running in the search of boundaries. I wanted to limit myself to want i am and not searching for what else i could be. Focusing on doing what i always thought i would do some day. Spending some time in just my world, away from people who expect me to be want they want me to be, just living my life in a leisure, doing the things i love. Sharing the life with the most wonderful husband in the world, raising the cutest baby, writing the book i always wanted to write, learning things, snoozing in a cozy comforter on a chilly day yawn yawn!! :) living every moment of the life like it has been made only for me.
Believe me i might be a different person now but certainly not for you. see i am still keeping you posted about everything ... like i always used to ;).
Love
Your's Beloved Blogger.
